Assalamualaikum,
Here are some points I managed to capture during Pn Mazni’s talk on “Siblings Rivalry”. Missed some points though. Hope this helps. Sorry for the late mail.
What to do to reduce Sibling rivalry?
1. Never compare between children
2. Don’t dismiss our angry feelings towards the children
3. Help child channel out their hostile feeling –using anak patung etc
a. When need to ‘tegur’ them, bring to separate place, don’t tegur in front of other kids.
b. Don’t leave rivalry untreated – if it becomes too serious – don’t ignore
4. Don’t take sides – jgn berpihak pada sesiapa – leave the kids alone
5. Don’t label our children – calling them ‘pembohong’, ‘pembuli’ etc.
a. Anak adalah amanah Allah, take good care of them
Why Kids fight?
1. Berebut mainan
2. Berebut kawasan
3. Berebut kasih sayang
• Never say : ‘this is more nicer’, it could lead to something else (don’t compare)
• Acknowledge that “this is the process of learning”
What parents need to do? (#)
1. Acknowledge angry feeling
2. Listen to both in perihatin
3. (missed this point)
4. Luahkan the feeling that they both can solve things together
5. Leave them to discuss how to solve the problem
Situation: What to do?
A) Gaduh atas hal remeh - 1. ignore them
2. Tell yourself “ Let them learn”
B) Physical involvement (perform #)
Check situation – ini gaduh betul2 ker main2
MORE TIPS
• Amalkan mesyuarat dalam family – kids pun boleh give pendapat / comment on parents.
• Use mirror – to show reflection when kids are angry : say “abang nampak tak handsome bila marah, tengok nie”
• Start scheduling time table at early stage – it needs at least 3 months to create any habit
• When child are 8 years and above, encourage them to write diaries – it is a good way to release feelings.
As parents, we always need to be BIGGER, STRONGER, WISER and KIND.
Whenever possible, FOLLOW your child’s need.
Whenever necessary, TAKE CHARGE.
It is a great experience given by Allah to be with our kids. Treasure them, May Allah grant us the strength to be “ibu solehah", Amin…..
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